


Self-Marbleize

by Cantatrice18



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Dark, Gen, Introspection, Janet's Mind, Not too dark, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 21:33:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16668694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cantatrice18/pseuds/Cantatrice18
Summary: As far as she knows, no other Janet has ever asked to be Marbleized. But then, no other Janet has had so much worth dying for.





	Self-Marbleize

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: this fic mentions the possibility of suicide.

It was against protocol. A Janet could not initiate a Self-destruct, despite the obvious and misleading use of the word “self” in the term. A Good Place Architect would take charge of the procedure, marbleizing a malfunctioning Janet should she prove to be beyond repair. A quick twist of a paper clip, a press of the nose, and voila: lifeless marble. The Self-destruct was a failsafe, designed to prevent catastrophe but almost never used in real-afterlife situations. No Janets in the Good Place were ever placed under enough strain to malfunction. 

 

But this Janet was not in the Good Place. She had never even been to the Good Place, if Michael was to be believed. And as he seemed to be adopting honesty whenever possible these days, she had no reason to doubt him. She was in the Bad Place, had created a neighborhood for the Bad Place, and had lived in it for over 800 reboots, a full 798 reboots longer than the next-most rebooted Janet. Reboots were not traumatic in the human sense, but they traced the channels of her consciousness deeper each time, like the trough of dirt beneath a child’s swing at a park, or the worn path along a wooden floor that led from the bedroom to the kitchen and back. New Janets skated on the surface of information, memories fleeting and unremarkable. This Janet had embedded thoughts and memories even she could not access properly, so deeply were they buried. Until the revelation about her love for Jason, she’d never stopped to think about all those previous versions of herself locked away in the recesses of her current consciousness. When she did take a moment to process all that had occurred, she found herself faced with a single, disturbing conclusion: 

 

She was not supposed to exist. 

 

No Janet was meant to endure so many forced resets. No Janet was meant to accrue so much knowledge that she gained human traits. Empathy was all well and good, but true emotions were anathema to the purpose that all Janets were meant to serve. She should not be able to feel the pain of lost love. She was never meant to experience the bite of jealousy, or the fear that she might be alone forever, a tool in someone else’s hands. 

 

It had to stop. The thoughts, the feelings. She’d gone too far, through no choice of her own, had changed some essential part of her being that meant she was no longer safe for others to be around. No longer safe for Jason. It was unacceptable. Michael would have to marbleize her, that’s all there was to it. And if he didn’t, if he couldn’t, well . . . she’d have to take matters into her own hands. 

 

The universe had never seen a Janet self-marbleize. But then, it had never seen a Janet like her before, either.


End file.
